Poopy Pants

The Scatalogical Issue

I even made a fake meme to vaguely tout the theme of my new song.

Faux Pranksters,

Ok, so I’m lowering the bar a bit this week.¹

I am not singing about something so lofty as love in today’s addition to the “Mixed Up Files” record, which continues to evolve over at Bandcamp.

Nay! Of lofty sentiments, there shall be none.

Today, I am releasing a recording that I have sat on² since 2008, unsure of what to do with it.

Like, where does this song fit in my legacy?

How did I come up with this one?

What was my motivation?

I actually try not to think about that side of things too much.

But I do know my motivation for releasing this mixed-up file today.

It's because I just heard a news piece about a guy who’s made over $10,000 from the streaming of his song called “Poop.”³

Little kids will say “Hey Alexa!! Play poop!” and everytime that happens, Amazon gives this fellow a ridiculous fraction of a penny.

Bottom line, there’s a lot of kids yelling at their smart devices about poop, and I need to get in on the action.⁴

So, today’s new recording that I am adding to the evolving “Mixed-Up Files” record is called “Poopy Pants⁵.”

You can listen to it here as an mp3:

One can partake of this morsel as a wav file here:

Here are the lyrics to the song:

Poopy Pants

(talking): Around about the time of the publication of the Gutenberg Bible, another book came out called "Till Eulenspiegel and his Pranks," and Till sold S-H-I-T.

Here's a song for all the kids
they all know it rhymes with it
and it starts with S-H shhhhh
S-H-I-T is poopy pants
Oh S-H-I-T is poop
S-H-I-T is crap
S-H-I-T is poopy pants, why is that so bad?
S-H-I- add a T is poopy pants, not on TV?

Well there's a notion among
the leaders of our country that dung
spelled a certain way is wrong
and you cannot say it on TV (or the radio)
Oh S-H-I-T is poop
S-H-I-T is crap
S-H-I-T is poopy pants, why is that so bad?
S-H-I- add a T
S-H-I-T is poopy pants

---

I went to school in Germany for a year in 1989-90 and kind of got into this Till Eulenspiegel character when I was compelled to read the stories of his merry pranks.

It kind of tied in to the Merry Pranksters and Ken Kesey which rubbed up againt a Kerouac⁶ and got me thinking.

I found it hilarious that the second thing to rise in reputation after the Gutenberg Bible (slash the invention of the printing press in Germany) was this goofy dude Till, who would like, take a dump in the Pope’s hot tub.⁷

I reckon I’ve got a weird sense of humor.

In any event, now this song exists.

Now, don’t direct your children to yell: “Hey Alexa, play ‘Poopy Pants’ by Faux Jean” quite yet, because I haven’t distributed this album to the streaming services properly yet, so it won’t work and I won’t get paid.⁸

I will do a proper distribution to streaming once the record is complete, and then give you the high sign that it’s okay to get your kids screaming at Alexa.

Warning: they may come away from the listening experience with the ability to spell the S-word.

I remain your humble servant

OX&C,

Faux Jean

On a completely different note, dig this pattern in the sand that I photgraphed at Coronado Dog Beach in San Diego today. Yes, I am wearing Crocs.

1. Although, from a sound-quality perspective, one could argue that the bar has been raised a smidge.

2. Like so many toilets.

3. I think it was called “Poop,” but it may have been “poopy butt,” or some such variation—but it was not “Poopy Pants.”

4. By not releasing this in 2008, when it was recorded, I have squandered 14 years of potential income from little kids yelling “Poopy Pants” at their devices.

5. This song was recorded by Jason Keillor at his country studio in Wisconsin and mixed by Bryan Hanna. I wrote about that recording session here.

6. Who I was reading and loving at that time. Still love.

7. Suddenly he’s blathering about the motivation for the song.

8. So far, my only marketing strategy for releasing these “Mixed Up Files” records is not to give Mark Zuckerberg any money. Reach out if you have ideas.