There's a Hole in Your Soul

Shallow fakes and plus sized language models

“What a world, what a world?!” said the wicked witch of the west.

Could she have been referring to this world that we are living in right now?

I think yes.

Was there a better time to be alive than right now?

I think not.

Consider the alternative.

Now is all we’ve got.

We all have to believe in our ability to make it better, like some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.

You only get to be you once.

You only get to be new once.

You only get to be old once.

Speaking of new . . .

I am adding a song to the “Mixed Up Files” album series today that I wrote 9,957 days ago.¹ (27 years is a long time to keep a secret.)

This song fell out of me in a stream of consciousness rant with no planning on December 28, 1996, and I’ve always called it by the nonsense title of “The Ballad of the Man Ray Quints.”

Today, in an effort to make it seem new, I am changing the title to the more sensible and relatable “There’s a Hole in Your Soul” and sharing it with y’all.

Please do indulge my ego and give it a listen in the player below.

I recorded this version of the song in a fancy recording studio in 2008, which I wrote about here.

When the song came to me in 1996, I had just hit record on my 4-track cassette player and started singing and playing guitar and then had to go back and listen to that recording to try to figure out what I’d said.

Here are the notes from my songwriting journal from listening to the improvisation:

Silly simple pop song?

What a world indeed.

I took these notes and polished them a bit to get to these final lyrics:

Well, it’s over now
And it’s over over it’s true
Though you’re sitting in the sunshine
Oh, you’re feeling so blue
With your money and your papers
And your tickets you see right through
You know you’ve got to get back home
Where they love you
And they’ll always take you back
Regardless of how much you’re drinking
Or even if you’re shooting smack
With your hands in your pockets
And your eyes on the ceiling it’s true
You know, I can’t be your friend because
Of your regrets and you live your life that way
And you’re so blue I can’t regret anything I haven’t said
To you,
Oh, this morning. Oh, you know you’re special
It’s true it’s true I can’t stay away
From the good love, and the good times that you gave
And I’ll come back and I’ll beg you for them
Like an animal in a cage
With my hands tied behind my back
And a leash around my neck
It’s so hard when you’re alone
In this world
And there’s nobody to love you
You wanna have a child to come in
And grab your arms and say
“I’ve got the flu
O! Daddy, can you help me while I throw up?”
I’ll throw, I’ll throw I’ll throw right up
‘Cause I love you more than you imagine
And I would give you everything
I’d even hold down a regular job
With 40 effin’ hours
And you’re already craving your lunch
It’s only half past ten
In the day, we used to
We’d hang around
With everyone doing any thing all day just for fun
But we’re older now it’s true
You’re older and I can see right I see right Right through you
Through you
Through you
Well, I got my x-ray glasses on
And I’m looking at your soul
And there’s a hole
There’s a hole in your soul

9,957 days is a long time to wait to share a song that you’re excited about if you’re in the “Music Business.”

That’s why I am enjoying this Low-stakes/no-stakes method of slowly releasing tracks on Bandcamp and writing about it here, away from the numbers.

I hope you enjoy.

I remain your humble servant,

OX&C,

Faux Jean

This kid was terrified by the Wicked Witch of the West in 1974.

1. My old band The Spring Collection recorded a version of this song in 1998 as part of the recording session for the 1999 release “AQUARIUS” at Mike Wisti’s Albatross studios, but it never saw release.